Anonymous asked:
As a college aged male, I would like to get to know the girls in my fellowship more without looking like I’m hitting on them or having an ulterior motive. It seems that there is a sort of a gender segregation for christians(though at times it is needed for things like accountability). Of course, I do realize that trying to get to know my fellow sisters in Christ may lead down dangerous paths if left unchecked. Is there any way I can fellowship more closely with them without feeling awkward?
It’s true this is a tricky thing, and you might come off “ulterior motive”-ish no matter how well you traverse the scene. The foremost thing to do is pray through your motives as you frolic about because most women can sense the creeper-ness, the floating, the hunting, the hot-breath proximity, and especially the pungent aroma of desperation. You know those nasty dudes who float across the room to put an arm around a girl as if they’re hot stuff. Freaking gross. You can exude that even when you’re actively trying to be kind and courteous.
Remember: Sin makes you stupid. Wanting to get to know girls for the wrong reasons, even reasons you’re not aware of yet, can make you weird, shrill, anxious, ego-driven, and turn you into a source of temptation. So pray through that and extract the roots of any motives that you wouldn’t want your future son-in-law to have.
But to get to know any of the ladies better in the “Christian” way, do as you would do with man-friends. Simple.
- Hang out in mixed groups for regular outings, like movies, bowling, lunch, dinner, coffee, study time. You are mostly your true dynamic self when you’re with your dudes, so the ladies will get to see that (for better or worse).
