Anonymous asked:
Hey, I need some real wisdom. What do you think of meeting a future spouse on a site like this? Before I would have said that seems insane, and meeting in person is better. But if you really share so much in common and are truly vibing, especially in spiritual conviction and passion for Christ, is it ever okay to make plans to travel and meet? If so, what is the safest, wisest, and Godliest way to go about that? I have and will continue praying on it, but advice is so needed. Much love.

While I’m not against this sort of thing, I have serious doubts about it for probably the same reasons you do.  You can pretty much be whoever you want to be online, even through live webcam, as if meeting face-to-face didn’t already have enough manipulative flexing, and so your expectations are highly distorted.  Maybe I sound like an old-fashioned close-minded grandpa, but I really don’t care: my job is to look out for you the best I can.

Inherent dangers with online dating:

- This is the main issue: Building an online relationship takes many, many, many shortcuts in human intimacy that may not be healthy in the long run for developing real communication.  You’ve already entered a dynamic that bypasses most of the normal human methods of getting to know each other. Online responses allow time to think so you come off more reasonable; human contact is spontaneous and on-the-spot. Even when you’re dating face to face, you’re continuously modifying your behavior to be your best.  So multiply that by a factor of a billion and you have the artificial realm of online dating.

It’s almost always the exception that online couples make it in real life, and I don’t mean to be mean, but you’re probably not that exception.

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