Photo by Jerry Em
“I believe; help my unbelief!” — Mark 9:24
Welcome to The Way Everlasting, the blog of J.S. Park, an atheist pastor.
How many times have we heard “Let’s be honest” and everyone lies about their honesty?
The modern church has trained us to lie with great sincerity. Everyone struggles but we learn the language of try-harder, it’s-in-my-past, I’m-doing-better-now, this-is-tough-but-praise-God. The moment we confess doubt, many have been educated to pile on more Bible, more doctrine, more serving “opportunities,” and a billion other guilt trips that avoid the real issue.
A Christian Atheist is someone who proclaims Christ as savior but doesn’t live like it. On the other hand, the term “Atheist Pastor” (or Atheist Believer) is almost the opposite. It’s someone who serves God in one of His highest callings to ministry, but inside will still think like an atheist. Serving God but doubting He exists.
It gets all of us. We doubt, fear, worry, and have legitimate questions. We are scared this means we don’t really get it or we have somehow missed the Gospel. Is this worth it? Does it have a point? Am I the only one? This epidemic is more common than we admit. So let’s talk about it.
I used to be an atheist/agnostic. I still struggle with doubts: now and then I think this is all crazy. The Big Secret of Every Christian is that we all have doubts about God. Even the “best” of us. Whether He is good, true, powerful, real. Let’s talk. This site is for the brutal honesty we all long for, and the grace we all need. A church without honesty is also a church without grace.
My constant prayer is Psalm 139:23-24 — “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
I’m currently giving half my salary away to charity.
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I am a recovered porn addict. God saved me from alcohol. A suicide attempt in 2004 with a bottle of pills. Huge anger issues. Pride, lust, control, cynicism. To be clear, the struggle itself is not the focus, but rather the God who has poured out grace upon the struggle. We’ll be talking about it.
The one advantage of an atheist past is I get to have an outsider’s view of the church. Many of the traditions are strange. A straight reading of the Bible doesn’t always equate to how a biblical church would be.
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I worked at a wedding store for four years, at a hip-hop clothing store for two years, and teach Tae Kwon Do and women’s kickboxing. I have a fifth degree black belt and my MDiv from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. I serve New Light Church in Tampa FL as an associate pastor.
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Check out the Featured Posts here.
You can find my sermon podcast here or here.
My book reading list and reviews at Goodreads.
I also run the blog StrugglingPastors.com.
Wow! WHAT A STORY! And yes, I agree with you that the church can be strange. Coming from a background of faith in Christ I really didn’t know him until my 30′s. Now years later, he is the center of my life, finally. A work in progress, I say!
Love that karate! I was a Green belt in high school; many years ago. Blessings..glad I found your blog!
Ok, if I have your permission I would like to write a post with you in mind. If you don’t want me to give your name or blog address that is fine. If so I will be glad to.
I write a lot of humorous Christian posts because God brought laughter back into my life after times of depression….I believe that is how he wants me to spread his word.
It would only be good about you because you are a real inspiration. If you would prefer I not do this let me know or I could send it to you to read first.
Thank you so much for your comment here and your encouraging words. You don’t need to ask permission! I appreciate that you did. Let me know when it’s done, I would love to read it and to continue reading your blog.
Hello!
I have enjoyed visiting your website today! What a powerful testimony; what a great God we serve!
Your comment “I still struggle with doubts: now and then I think this is all crazy” really struck home. Those have been my thoughts the past ten months since our 12 year old son was taken home to heaven in a skiing accident. The walk that we have walked since then has been one filled foremost with grace, but also a hard,hard fight to continue to believe every word in Scripture.
My name is Terri Stellrecht, and I am the author of the book “How My Savior Leads Me.” It would be an honor to send you a copy of my book for your review.
Following is the book description, as well as the Amazon link showing the book. Please let me know if you would like me to mail you a copy of the book.
Thank you!! I look forward to hearing from you! Keep fighting the good fight of faith!
Terri Stellrecht
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On Friday, February 18, 2011, God did the unthinkable in our lives: He chose to take our 12-year-old son, Trent Lee Stellrecht, home to heaven in a skiing accident. It is only considered the unthinkable because our plans are not God’s plans, and our ways are not God’s ways. Follow along on my journey through the valley of the shadow of death as my Savior, Jesus Christ, leads me.
How My Savior Leads Me is the powerful, moving account of God’s faithfulness in what appears to be a tragedy. Terri Stellrecht begins by sharing glimpses from Trent’s childhood, and before, that God graciously revealed to prepare her for the day that her son would enter His presence, and the day that her prayers would be answered: prayers that God would save Trent and allow him to dwell in heaven for eternity, and that somehow his life would be used in a mighty way for the glory of God and the gospel going forth.
Can God really be good in “accidents”? Is He really there? Does He really have a purpose for everything that happens on this earth? Stellrecht explores the promises and truths found in the Bible as she lays out the foundation of her faith and shares the whispers that God has continued to give to encourage her every step of the way through the hard process of grief.
A book that will make you laugh, weep, and rejoice as well as challenge your own belief of this good God. It will ultimately ask you to answer the question: “What if it had been you that died in that skiing accident? Where would you be? Do you know this Savior of mine? His name is Jesus.”
I really like your blog. I think that, hopefully, our generation will finally realize what being truly Christian actually means. I think we have so many problems, so many questions, and we’re in need of so much of God’s revelation. Check out my blog. I describe it as “Musings of a Christian Post-Modern”.
http://unapologeticapologist.wordpress.com
Thank you! I subscribed to your blog, some great doctrinal thoughts there.
I believe that some of today’s Christians are trying to redefine what it is to be just that.
Can we believe and still doubt? What about faith? Can we truly surrender all? Are there and were there any perfect Christians? Is a man’s doctrine that he “interpreted” from the Bible the way to go? Are denominations the cause for divisions in a unified church? Is the word of God the only way that teaches how we should live our lives?
It’s nice to hear from you again.
Other blog.
http://womanwritetwo.wordpress.com/
Will return here.